Me and my body both still know the difference between the exhaustion caused by extensive physical labor and the perpetual prostration a burnout can cause, even though mine happened almost twenty years ago and was related to a workplace and a boyfriend I feel no connection to anymore whatsoever. In six weeks’ time I lost more than thirty five kilos, just from not being able to keep any food in, no matter how hard I tried.
Stress is such a violent uncontrollable killer, you can literally feel it raging through your body and with every blow it delivers to your cells you realize it will take years to repair the damage, if at all possible. Not to mention the guilt you at once lay upon yourself for ignoring the signs, thinking you could tend to them later, prioritizing resolving the issues of the day, seemingly important but obviously insignificant afterwards.
It’s a chicken or the egg causality dilemma connecting the burnout I then suffered to the autoimmune diseases I since then have been diagnosed with, so I won’t dwell on that. Fact is that with the help of some really good doctors and a whole bunch of pills I take every day, all appears to be normal again. Only when I forget to take my medication this tangible reminiscence takes over.
All of this played its part in our decision to settle in Les Pierres, naturally. We reckoned less interference with social obligations and incentives of the outside world would surely further decrease our stress levels. Now Covid has put that theory out of bounds again, quickly making even the simplest visit of friends or family stressful and rather taut.
I’m not complaining and appreciate we live under very favorable and safe circumstances compared to many others, but still yesterday’s dinner guests not showing up brought us more relief than not having to share the appetizers. With respect for my own self-esteem, I have to admit I had gone overboard once again with the preparations, which in anticipation had put unnecessary tension on the visit, resolved by their cancellation and resulting in a binge for two. I had no problem devouring it this time around.
I really enjoy reading your blogs. Full of interesting and heartfelt facts. I think we must be related, maybe twins even . The more I look, the more I find people from my tribe all over the world. Even a few I knew in former lives who have suddenly realised that you only get one go at life, so you should try and live your best one every day. From your blogs I think you have aced at this .
Thank you for inspiring me
Thank you, Sarah, it appreciate you taking the time to let me know how you feel. It’s interesting indeed, to see the connections you find literally everywhere if you are open for it. It’s not always easy to live in the now and I often loose track too, but it’s really worth it to keep trying. Thank you very much for your sweet words!