This might come as a surprise only to some, but I customarily value Ivory’s company really high, so for me to persistently decline his recurring invitation to join him on his daily walk through the lush environment of Les Pierres, a routine that we have maintained for years but that has been eroded for a while now, cannot but cause some local solicitousness.
Our neighbors, the ones we for obvious considerations like to refer to as our gaybors, but mostly to set them apart from the perpetual builders, recently inquired cautiously about my whims to deviate from this beaten track, which in turn sparked a conversation between us last night I thought we had more firmly put to bed.
When Ivory and I started dating, a mere fourteen years ago, I had just gone through the terrible tragedy of losing my beloved dog, an agony I hoped to ease by making a new friend in Fos, also a golden retriever. Unaware of any discomfort or anxiety, thinking puppies in general, but more specifically mine, could only contribute to feelings of carefree endearment, I completely misread his frugally formulated question about the expected maximum lifespan of dogs, by boasting: “Don’t worry, it’ll be at least thirteen years”.
History proved me devilishly accurate when we lost Fos a year ago, but more unexpectedly Ivory quickly conquered all accumulated aversion of dogs within days after their first encounter, the start of one of the most tenderhearted symbiotic relationships I have ever closely witnessed, trustfully two sidedly connected, despite some unfortunate incidents. The choice to exclude a redo had been made long before his passing away, based on practical benefits such as more freedom of movement, but also because a swift replace seemed unbearably cruel to all of us.
This new dogless world of ours has certainly brought us gains, never to be discussed without weighing in the torment of his absence. His receding from our days has introduced a big fat ‘but’ into our vision on life and we can’t seem to shake that of just yet.
It’s all different, but not necessarily worse. I might regain my lost appetite for walking by revaluing his skilled merit of making me move around more freely.
