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It has lost none of its beauty or intensity

This mesmerizing mix of exploding cuteness one minute and macabre misbehavior the next, a repeating sequence of tension and relaxation that is wiping us both out before the day has even well begun, is all about the pup’s education, our adjustments and vice versa, a lot of vice versa actually, because a logical consequence of trying to teach is to confront yourself with all the obnoxiousnesses that have crept in over time and they must give way, however understandable their existence. The unusual towering focus on behavior, his, ours, each others and their common collisions, continues to fascinate and aggravate, leaving little space for extended contemplation.

There’s a mind-numbing quality to babysitting I vividly recall from the past but can’t really explain, at the same time causing shame and discombobulation because it’s plainly as fulfilling as it is necessary, but not all the time and yet when they finally do fall asleep, freeing up valuable minutes to a lucky hour to do something really meaningful, you’re too exhausted, o cruelness of agonizing fate.

I spend a lot of time analyzing this phenomena, unlimited when raising puppies or other childlike creatures, but also pertained to a heart that loves taking care of others in more general terms, only to reach the ostensibly obvious conclusion that all depends on where you put the emphases, what’s truly meaningful for you and what’s not. I’ve made some wrong judgements along the way, sure, but none I in hindsight regret, because nothing was truly lost.

The faded flowers on our Hydrangea that has already lost its leaves are a firm reminder of the dry spell I’ve had for years in my writing career, committedly giving priority to other meaningful activities, pretending not to care too much or misinterpreting my interest in it from the start. As usual, a closer look offers a more detailed perspective: it might not be as vivid and colorful as it once was, but it has lost none of its beauty or intensity.

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