Bear in mind I’m an incurable romantic, maybe not always as determined and steadfast as I would want my outer image to project, because let’s face it, I’m getting to that age where standing in front of a mirror should never again be a coincidental accident but always well thought off preparatory to effectuation to prevent disappointments and depression, but throw leakage and blockage at me and you’ll get me on this extended trip down memory lane, vicariously contemplating how I did that before, dreaming of a simple but connected life, not actually in sync with our current reality.
This is probably why I found myself today staring at this framed picture, purchased at an exhibition in a local church, a photo by a talented friend with an incomprehensible too tiny self esteem to call herself a photographer which she clearly is, that has been on our walls for years, long before we actually moved to Les Pierres.
When we were living big in this fairy tale castle, foolishly thinking we were the lucky ones, fiercely defending this delusion to worried friends and family with keener eyes and a mind accordingly, very much unlike our then reality, this was the image that could literally push me forward, like the proverbial dot on the horizon, even though the house depicted in reality would not have lived up to the life I then fancied living there, no matter how many times we drove over to check it out or the fact that it wasn’t ever for sale anyway.
Most of what I write about here gives physical shape or form to what I perspicuously see, daily, whether it’s truly there or not can be a mind-bending puzzle because I do realize my private universe is greatly overlapping my ludicrous too colorful fantasy, promptly and firmly providing me with something to grab onto in this worldly whirlwind, something to express my deepest wonder with.
I find it extremely comforting to recognize that glance in the work of friends, proving they have seen it too, thus making it even more true, no need to pinch myself, no real need to dig, is there?