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It’s Essence Is A Higher Science To Begin With

Motherhood is taking its toll on me tragically, notwithstanding the baby sleeping through the night for the first time since his homecoming, hurray, but it’s essence is a higher science to begin with, theory and previous experiences aside, making me seriously doubt the validity of the nickname some of my friends give me, placing ‘mama’ on my name tag at the dinner table and ‘baby’ on Ivory’s, not necessarily intertwined, just their expressive way of showing their appreciation for me taking care.

The massive tantrum Mec pulled last night, after being this poster-board puppy all day but out of the blue suddenly expectorate excess energy all over the place, this tantalizing trance his mind got trapped in making his body not just an unstoppable rocket but altogether unreachable for reasoning, lasting far over an hour and leaving us all exhausted and in utter despair before finally entering giggling mode again – wasn’t that something – made me realize I might be a good actor, but really score low on the segment of the job where instincts should rule, having massively lectured Ivory about the perks of using ‘ignore’ as a parenting skill and thereafter shamelessly making myself available for cuddles and bonding 24/7.

Old habits, I guess, based on my somewhat rectilinear assumption that a mother is not who you are but what you do, with its consequences strongly reflected in the crazy creatures I raised before and more or less consciously kept childlike, even throughout their adult lives. That might be endurable if you are blessed with a high cuddly content anyway, like golden retrievers who are the proverbial harmless and benign good guys, but the little guy now at hand made quite clear within days I need to bring a different A-game, or we’ll all end up miserable. My nose and hands and the dainty decorating scratches on them are just the silent harbingers of this unwanted, detrimental corollary of my love for the dude.

I’m not yet going to kick this little kangaroo out of his primordial pouch, don’t worry. I’m also not going to read anything more into last nights tumultuous events than it being an inspiring incentive to try and loose the ’s’ before my motherhood.


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